The Bat Cave is where goth furry Bruce Wayne spent most of his time after his parents died.  It’s a super decked out basement with the best PC rig ever.  There is a big penny and a speedboat.  Sometimes he’ll knock people out and bring them there.

The Legion of Superheroes fly around in the Mark X with Matter Eater Lad the best superhero ever.  Matter Eater Lad is hillarious and when he became an adult he was governor of space or something and went crazy trying to get fired.  Also on the show he had sunglasses and a big tooth on his shirt.  Matter Eater Lad is the best and the Mark X is a ship worthy of the best Legionnaire.  Make another Legion episode of Smallville this time starrint Matter Eater Lad.

Aquaman’s Bungalow.  The greatest and most famous of all Superhero Hideouts.  Every time the throne of MermaidLand is usurped and Aquaman is banished, he goes there to solve the mystery of his usurping so he can re-surp the throne and become the rightful surp again.  This is the plot of all Aquaman comics unless he’s punching bad men on boats.

The Baxter Building is that old skyscraper with the big 4 in downtown Manhattan that used to belong to Reed Richards until the EPA shut him down for his Asbestos Rooms and Blasting Rocket Fuel Into The River.  It is not for Channel 4 like everybody says.

The Evil Dr. Who from The King Kong Show has a secret base inside of a pyramid that looks way cooler in this picture from a magazine than it ever did in that cheap-ass cartoon.  Unfortunately there is no sweet playset like the Technodrome or The Ghostbuster Fireman House Deal because this show wasn’t made in the 80′s so kids still had use their lame imaginations.

A Non-Ironic Volcano Full Of Ninjas.

I always liked that Jaws got to hang with his little girlfriend after the laser fight.  But then he was on James Bond Jr. so I guess there is no justice.

Here is a fascinating article about researching the life of Jackie Ormes for a new book that has been released. Ormes was a 20th century black female comic strip artist. She was part of the black social elite and drew cartoons that were cute, funny, and picked fun at the establishment of the times. She is an insanely compelling figure to me and the book is an amazing look in to the alternate dimension of pre-segregation black America.

via cartoon brew

A wonderful, pitch perfect fairy tale of a comic by Kieron Gillen and Charity Larrison.  A full 80-page graphic novel online for free.  Turn on some dreamy music, get a good cup of tea, and click through the whole thing in one sitting.  A great read.

via warren ellis

Archetypes can be found in all forms of fiction, from the simplest of fables to the most complex of Nintendo DS games based on the hit Disney Channel sitcom Hannah Montana. They are so deeply rooted in our psyches that we recognize them instantly: The Hero, The Trickster, The Mentor, The Healer, and of course, the Green-Furred Gun-Toting Spacefaring Rabbit In Red. GFGTSFRIRs are one of the most common and pointless archetypes of all, dating back to at least the late 1970s. Let’s explore some of the more famous GFGTSFRIRs.

Jaxxon

Jaxxon is a big green space bunny from the ridiculous Star Wars universe. Lucasfilm, the corporation that had no problem greenlighting deadly teddy bear men, actual guys named Sleazebaggano, and Howard the Duck thought that Jaxxon was too insane of character and was demanded he be removed from the Marvel Comics Star Wars series. Jaxxon is an homage to Bugs Bunny, made obvious by his status as a blaster brandishing mercenary and smuggler. But I think the time for Jaxxon’s return is right. Most kids have probably never seen a Looney Tune, George Lucas hates his fans more than ever, and with the new live action Star Wars TV show on the horizon, we can only hop that a terrifying CG creation voiced by Kiefer Sutherland is right around the corner.

Bucky O’Hare

Bucky O’Hare also began life as a comic from the late 70′s somehow, joining Jaxxon in birthing the GFGTSFRIR revolution. Bucky is the captain of the Righteous Indignation and along with his multi species crew fights to save the Aniverse from the Toad Empire. A TV cartoon appeared in 1991 and that show, combined with Tiny Toons, and the Disney Afternoon pierced the psyches of young failures worldwide making them into Furrys. Bucky has couple of better than average video games including one that ended the show’s plot, but sadly children of the 21st century have so far been deprived of his verdant lagomorphic charms.

Jazz Jackrabbit

If you owned a PC in 1994, you probably played Jazz Jackrabbit. The shareware version was legally mandated by the Clinton adminstration to be on every 100 radical games for windows and sound card installation CD released between 1994-1999. Jazz was developed by Unreal Tournament and Gears of War design guru Cliffy B. The first game is a cross between Sonic the Hedgehog and Metal Slug and the second game is the first game only with the blandest non-level design ever. There is also a Gameboy Advance version which rewrites the Jazz canon that we true fans worked so hard to create at Jazzcon ’97.

As you can tell just by switching on the internet screen or your television box, Green-Furred Gun-Toting Spacefaring Rabbits In Red have penetrated every facet of pop-culture and are multiplying like Catholics. Someday GFGTSFRIRs will completely overtake the media and a new age of enlightenment will begin. This primer has been your introduction to our glorious furry mutant future.

1. Archie Meets The Punisher

Conceived as a joke, but amazingly brought to fruition, AMTP is a Marvel Comics crossover that is essentially a big love letter to Archie and the Riverdale gang. The Punisher has to hunt down an devistatingly ugly and possibly brain damaged redheaded criminal, but our pal Archie ends up in the crosshairs instead. The comics is also great because instead of coming to any middle ground of styles, the characters wildly clash all over the page. Way better written than it has any right to be, this was self aware, funny, and clever stuff.

2. Archie Meets God

I read a lot of Christian Archies at Bible Camp and always wondered why in the world they chose such a two-timing loser to represent our Lord and Savior. Licensed to the Christian comic company Spire, these Comics are completly worth reading for how completly bizzare they are. The are filled with great anti-liberal propaganda and delighfully off model drawings. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Betty Cooper yell about how going steady with Jesus is better than any date.

3. Archie Meets Grunge

Part of a special Gen13 issue, Grunge travels through the dreamlike Land of Sequential Art, crossing over into various comics, including Archie. A fun read, and neat if only to see how much more appealing the Archie Comics house style is than Image was.

4. Archie Meets Betty and Veronica’s Dynamic New Look

A four issue mini story that’s currently ongoing as of this writing, it’s drawn in an interesting new style, but such a bland yawnfest. I like this comic, though, because it makes people who don’t buy or read Archie comics complain about a change that doesn’t even affect any other stories.