Topher Florence

A “scholarly” look into the deeper meaning of Gilligan’s island can be found here. (via Boing Boing) Like most ridiculous essays of the sort it’s much more entertaining than the show itself.   Plus it’s way more complex than your typical “Mary Anne is the Virgin and Ginger is the Whore” kind of thing.  As a kid I personally found the show to be infuriating.  Infinite sitcom status quo applied to what my young mind thought was a “life and death” situation made me really miserable.  I think I watched it the same way people now watch reality TV.  I just couldn’t wait to judge these awful people and their idiotic lives.  I think the crummy reunion show where they finally escape only to get trapped on the island again made me into a little nihilist. I’m not really a fan of most of them, but I kind of wish Hollywood would go back to making insane high concept sitcoms.

The new Uniqlock contains weapons-grade charm. Armed with only the current Tokyo time, hypnotic dance moves, and a jazzy soundtrack, it’s simultaneously the best sweater ad ever devised by mankind and an evil the likes of which we’ve never seen. Thank God we’re buddies with Japan for now. Super Special clips play on the hour.

Amorena Mendez grew up on a ranch just outside of Dubois, Wyoming. From a young age, she was charmingly sociable and a natural performer. Her talents were carefully cultivated by her loving parents and a team of specialists from the around the globe. Mendez was one of the first hybrid models from the Apple/Disney Ranch.

Amorena is comprised of two major DNA subsets: those of Morena Baccarin and Amerie Rogers, both obtained during the post-Crash buyout of celebrity genomes.

The actress and singer were found to be highly complimentary through extensive market research and computer analysis. From Rogers, Amorena gets her exotic beauty and affinity for music. From Baccarin, she gets her classical good looks and grace.

Amorena’s genome contains fifty percent from both her biological mothers, as exemplified below

A former Miss Teen USA and a top 90th percentile graduate of the Olsen Institute, Amorena is fluent in English, Spanish, Mandarin, and Arabic. She is a government certified Role Model and is one of the highest ranking North American First Crushes according to the Myspace Research Group.

Now emancipated from her guardianship, Amorena has founded the AM Company, dedicated to producing quality entertainment franchises and upholding high standards of corporate ethics.

Amorena Mendez resides in Uncanny Valley, California and can currently be seen in Nintendo’s Obsidian Coast series and as a hostess on the Disney Channel Classics Webcast.

I was watching TV a couple years ago and Angela Peel showed up in the middle of this Coke commercial and startled me out of my couch potato trance. She was so strikingly beautiful that I considered buying a 20 oz in appreciation to the marketing team. Angela was a contenstant on American Idol and Popstars. She was also part of the touring company of The Lion King. I hope she becomes a huge star soon so I can either see a lot more of her or, alternatively, learn way too much about her so my imagination stops filling in the gaps with the rest of my perfect woman…